Specious Lesbo and the Seahorse She Rode In On...

This guy was fantastic. So much so, that QP decided to drive around the parking lot for a second glimpse of him...thank goodness, because I wasn't quick enough to get a picture the first time around. Are those white socks with brown sandals? Why, yes they are. Is that a belt or a fanny pack? Oh. It's a fanny pack. But, the best part is left out of the picture...when we saw the front side of his shirt, it was decorated with a road map and had in giant letters across the front: TEXAS
...and we all wonder why the rest of the country thinks Texans are freaks...Here's a shout out to the world: HE'S NOT A TEXAN! I SWEAR! HE'S PROBABLY EUROPEAN OR FRENCH-CANADIAN!
Whew. Good thing I was able to get that out...

So, in New Hampshire, the state government runs the liquor stores. What a neat idea...total price control AND you can get all your vices out of the way right of the interstate!

Who breaks for moose? We do! We do!
Hundreds of Collisions. I'd believe it. Every moose I've ever seen has a death-wish look in their eye...I have this funny imagine in my head of Rocky (of Rocky and Bullwinkle fame) swooshing around the New Hampshire roadways trying to warn ill-fated moose, "Look out Bullwinkle! It's a new, fully-loaded Xterra!...Oh. That trick never works!"



This is such a lie. Oh...The Mt. Washington experience...The highest point in the Northeast! Here's MY side of the story: I'm not a huge fan of heights...you know, all that crazy vertigo stuff and utter fear...no big deal. I warned QP about this before she insisted that we be one of the many to go up the Mt. Washington Auto Road...but, she just had to have that sticker, and by golly, there's no other way to get it!

I said that it was fine. I keep a supply of sedatives handy for situations like these...and besides, she was driving, so if I started to loose it, I could just close my eyes and put all my trust in a woman that proved herself to me the week before by maneuvering Manhattan traffic...apparently, she's unstoppable!

The auto road was 8 miles long...or, I should say, up...and they gave you your money's worth. In the package was an audio guide CD, the coveted bumper-sticker and a page covered with instructions on from front to back on how not to die...e.g.: don't ride your brakes on the way down, don't speed, share the road, avoid careening your vehicle off the side of the unguardrailed mountain road, be nice to chipmunks, and so on...

So, we started making our way up the mountain. It wasn't long before QP agreed that this, indeed, was a fucking steep mountain road..and was even a bit scary. The insipid digital tour guide just wouldn't shut up about the "erratic high winds" and "some of the most volatile weather on earth!"...

..at about 3 miles up the auto road, we made a group decision that neither one of us was really up to driving another 5 miles up this road. At this point, QP looked a little shaken so I offered to drive the car back down the road..her reply, "What?!? No! You just took a pill!"...I was like, "Exactly. Now I'm calm enough to handle it." I don't think she liked this logic because her response to this was something like "Uh, yeah. So, I'm going to sit there in the passenger's side and freak out while you drive my car down the mountain after you've taken drugs."...Sure, sounds good to me. Thanks to modern science, I'm the calm one here.

So, to end this story. QP drove the car very slowly and safely back to level ground. I commend her courageousness, because I don't have it...but, the sticker...it's a lie! We never made it to the top. The sticker should read something more along the lines of "This car half-assed climbed Mt. Washington before we realized we were going to shit our pants if we didn't get back down to the ground."

I guess that'd be a little wordy for a bumper sticker.

So, I promised the Pontiffa that I would cook a decent camping dinner for us...and this is what i came up with. Don't laugh, it's pork. It actually tasted pretty good too...and it was a hasty grilling experience because the heavens were about to open up on us...and then they did.

Yeah. That's right. It stormed while we were camping. But, I picked myself up a six pack of a local brew, so that makes everything ok...the fuzzy picture implies nothing except for that I suck at taking pictures.

Raaaaarrr! Raccoons! So vicious...you mean I should stop inviting them into my tent to cuddle? Damn. I guess I should stick to the "fun to watch" part...that makes me feel like a dirty, animal pervert though...

This is the infamous Mt. Washington...this is actually the other side of the mountain...the side that has trains that go to the top. That'd be the way to do it...because I bet they don't let you get off the train half way up the mountain.

Diana's Bath...the waterfall area that we finally decided to stop at and go swimming. There must have been a hundred swimming hole areas to choose from...the water was damn cold. I guess that has something to do with the fact that we were in the mountains...and this water is melted snow. Cold.



Covered bridge. Yup. There it is. What's the facination with these things, anyway? Ok. It was cute...and a quaint little piece of Americana...Damn it! You caught me! I love covered bridges, ok? Are you happy!?!?

Sunset in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. I'm sure I'll never come back here, so let's take this photo as a symbol of my memories...deep.