Specious Lesbo and the Seahorse She Rode In On...

I've tried to refrain from posting up here when I don't have anything productive to say...but, if I held myself to that principle, there would be no blog in existence..in fact, I believe that if the majority of bloggers held themselves to that ideology, there would be no blogs...and what were we doing with all of our time before blogs? Do we even remember? This being said...

Ok. So here's my first inane thought: I had no idea that the song "These Dreams" was a Heart song. This may be inviting ridicule amongst some of my friends...but honestly, I didn't know. I believe I thought it was Gloria Estefan...or maybe that chick that sang "Black Velvet"...shows how much I know about Heart.

What brought this epiphany, you ask? Well, a couple months ago a good friend of mine blessed me with many many selections of top quality pirated music...well, pirated for me anyway...he actually bought all these albums..and after weeding through lot's of (cough) chick music I have found plenty of music that I enjoy listening to. Full albums too! Neat, huh? Ok...I'm asking for even more ridicule...I like lots of chick music...but, I draw the line at Vanessa Williams. You're never going to get me to budge on that one. Hmmm...he might feel the same way about the selections of Skinny Puppy and various New Wave artists I provided him...

...I now patiently await...an agent of the Recording Industry Artist's Association should jump out of the hedges and slap me with a lawsuit...right...about...NOW!...

"Ma'am, I'm sorry to have to be the one to inform you of this, but all that crappy chick music and cock-rock you have on your computer is in violation of strict copyright laws. These laws are in place in order to protect the fine creative specimens that the artists of the recording industry have been nice enough to provide the unintelligent, drooly-mouthed masses. Now, please...if you could just come with me...Ms. Williams and Mr. Nugent are back at our office awaiting your arrival so they can rack your knuckles with diamond-encrusted rulers..."

Don't get me wrong...I don't completely disagree with copyright laws...musicians are hard workers too and possibly even original and talented.....right? What's considered work here...what's art? I have no idea...my opinion's as varied as the next persons...

But, I'll tell you one thing I do know...my culture-consuming days of being duped into giving money to the entertainment industry are over.

Although, I am still a culture consumer...I, now, have been provided the easily accessible power of product information. Thank you, interweb. I can't say I didn't try to find out information BEFORE the internet...it was just a lot harder...and usually, fruitless...and I'm lazy...I try things half-assed before I give up and just take what's coming to me.

It's the American way...we figure out ways to make things easy...we figure out ways to get high quality at a low, low prices...we consume and then want more...man, I want a cigarette.

And this is the real reason the music industry is pissed. They now have to actually work to get us to consume their products! Ten years ago, they could sell a packaged deal just on MTV and the radio...one song would get us to buy an album...one song would get us to throw down $50 on a concert ticket...and, in a sense, this is still true. But now they're forced to maintain websites...they have to have interactive CDs...they have to give us free downloads for our IPods...best create a culture that will at least whitewash the lack of substance or else, we ain't buyin', bitch! Or, hey...maybe you can just give us the substance? How about that?

You gotta give me something worth paying for...

I still buy lots of music. I still go to lots of concerts. Only now, I make sure I know what I'm getting for my money...

We know too much. Power to the people! Wooooo!

Jesus. How did I go from Heart to that? I really wanted to tell everyone about how I finally figured out how to open the littleneck clams last night...I've endured several cuts and an equal amount of co-worker raillery (again, with my lack of knowledge in the seafood industry...I think I'm a walking enigma to them) during my journey to success...but, it's paid off in the end. I was able to pry open ONE littleneck clam in the time that it took my coworker to open 10...I'm so useful! How is this restaurant going to function when I leave?








©2005 Specious Lesbo and the Seahorse She Rode in On...because I know you were thinking about stealing my art...unoriginal bastard.