Specious Lesbo and the Seahorse She Rode In On...

Hi.

Geez...I don't know how to say this, but...well...it's over.

This evening, my aunt and uncle will drive me up to Boston and put me on a plane bound for hot, humid, and oh so pleasant Houston, Texas. I've been pouting mostly about leaving the gorgeous fall weather of New England for the nasty 100 degree, hurricane ravaged Gulf Coast...

I know...I know...Austin's better...it's not Houston...but it's still fucking hot...and if it's anything like last year, it'll go directly from fucking hot to cold, grey, drizzly and miserable. But, I'm optimistic that this year will be better...dear god...hopefully. I'm so out if it's not...I can't do another 3 months of grey...not again.

Actually, I don't want to leave. I feel like I'm being forced to leave summer camp and go back to school. But, I know it'll all work out...and I miss my friends...and Kitty Bojangles and Cat B...and I think I can say I did some stuff in the past three months. I talked about some of it here, but not everything because I generally feel like writing here is a waste of time. I always argue with myself about that...on one hand, I like doing it, but on the other, I'm not really sure what I've accomplished when I look up from typing and I've been at it for 3 hours...but, anyway, outside of wasting my time, I really do feel like I did lots of things...even if it was just countless hours of thinking.

I also learned lots of things...about my family, about life in small town and the origins of America (well, I've already learned a lot of these things, but I forget the details...and I seem to have a different mind-set every time I revisit it...)...and, of course, myself...I'm sure I'll forget most of this stuff as soon as I set foot in Austin, but whataya gonna do...

Here...I'm going to try to parse out some details about what I've learned and experienced in the past few months...read on if you feel so compelled.

A Few Things About My Family

• I have a first cousin, once-removed who died seven years ago in Thailand under mysterious circumstances. Nobody knows why he was there...or how he died...it's very shady. It's rumored that he was into cocaine trafficking in New Bedford and that he showered my great aunt Mae with random gifts like a new Singer sewing machine, yet he never seemed to be employed. How morbidly fascinating...no?
• My grandfather was a maritime lawyer before he was a judge. Neat. I didn't know that. I wish he were still around so I could ask him what it was like to deal with the likes of scoundrel pirates (arrrr.....), curmudgeony sailors, and briny fishermen. Although, I don't remember him being very cheery fellow, so he'd probably just tell me to "...mind you're own business and stick to what you're good at...getting me another scotch!"
• Well, that's it for right now...there's more and I'm sure it'll come up later.

Random Observations of a Displaced Texan in New England

• * The food. I've eaten LOTS of fish and seafood and I could be very happy if I could eat as much seafood for the rest of my life. In general, the food is ridiculously bland. If someone warns you, "Whoa there! Better watch out...that quahog is spicy!" make sure you completly ignore them.
• * The town folk around here seem to be a lot more healthy (again, in general) than us beer chuggin' southern. The 50+ year olds are always talking about hiking, skiing, sailing, biking, etc rather than what was on "Who Wants to Marry a Midget?" the other night...but, I realize this is a very skewed observation...the people in this town also have a lot of money...and, money seriously helps with health and happiness...without a doubt.
• * 90 degrees is as hot as the abysmal flames of the deepest depths of hell...
• * if there's not a city/state public official indicted for some slight of hand, just wait a minute...
• * the Sox suck...the Sox rule...the Sox don't really matter as long as somebody's beating the Yankees...the Sox RULE this inning! GO MANNY! Oh god.. the Sox suck....can I get a Sam Adams, oh, and who's playing the Yankees?
• * In a small New England town: Your mom went to high school with the postman, the bartender, the judge, the policeman, the harbormaster, the owner of the deli, the museum curator, the avon lady, the pastor....really? Well, your grandmother played bridge with the inn owner, the ladies of the Junior League, the wife of the dentist, the daughter of the obstetrician....no, you don't say....Oh, well, your grandfather golfed with.......
• * Take all those people, stir in their children, cousins and siblings, half-brothers and in-laws...put them in a kitchen...and you'll have MY CO-WORKERS!
• * Gay is ok....as long as you're not my Yale educated son and you don't talk about it personally. Mind your own business. Where's my scotch?
• * Wicked.

and America?

• * our Pilgrim forefathers (or, at least YOUR Pilgrim forefathers...I'm a 3rd generation American...I'm not even sure why I care so much about this shit)...first landed in Provincetown, MA, checked out the scene...then decided to move onto the more fruitful lands of Plymouth, MA...if they only would've waited 300 years to see the "fruitfulness" of Provincetown. Huh huh.
• * There's a whole lot of defunct business up here that once made the urban centers of the northeast bustling, prosperous cities...whaling and textile production being the top two. These days, there are just a lot of empty mills being turned into swank loft apartments or demolished to make room for a Home Depot. In my opinion, whaling is the more absurd of the two. There was an entire business, lifestyle, and culture that sprung up around this giant mammal that was thought to be plentiful and inexhaustible resource...not too mention a plethora of fun sayings (thar she blows!) and bored, whale men art...yeah, well, that didn't last long (I actually opted out of visiting the numerous whaling museum this time around, so this is my "fact" telling)...150 years, maybe? So, if you'd like to see what oil cities might look like in 150 years, visit a coastal New England city.

Myself...right.

• * if I'm really going to stick to this "no smoking" thing, something else needs to take the place of the many years of memories that smoking and I have together. Whenever I hear that song...or remember that time...or drink that drink...I remember the happy with a cigarette. I know I fucked it up for myself....and now I'm trying to fix it...but, it still sucks. I haven't had a cigarette in a month and I still want one daily...and, if you think of it like that...when all past happiness=smoking, it's not too motivating to quit.
• * It's possible to go a month without a cigarette!
• * I learned how to sauté seafood and much more, I didn't kill anyone (to my knowledge) and I think that I only acquired four visible scars.
• * I learned more about sailing than I ever cared to know...I've never even been interested in sailing, but now I am...so, I just need to come up with an extra $200,000 to buy that sailboat...anybody wanna give me a loan? I swear I'll pay it back...
• * What am I going to do when I get back to Austin? Hey! What's that over there?

Sometimes, I Went Places.

I think I went lots of places...but, I'm leaving today and I still haven't done all the shit that I wanted to do. So, I have to make myself feel better by listing the places I went to (or at least, remember)...and give much thanks to QP for being such a willing adventurer.

• * Just in the past week, QP took me to Springfield, Mass...New Haven, CT...Salem and Marblehead, Mass..and, of course, Manchester and Storrs, CT...my home away from home away from home, um, away from home...
• * I also went to a few places in New Hampshire, New York City, and Providence R.I.,
• * Nantucket Island, MA...hope those of you that received limericks enjoyed them, because I couldn't stop thinking in limerick rhyme and meter for two days solid.
• * Up Cape Cod to Provincetown, Dennis, and Hyannis and that little place we saw the light house atop a cliff over the Atlantic...that was pretty cool.
• * Other than that, I pretty much sat on my ass a lot.

So, there you go...

This blog will soon be put into retirement...maybe I'll go back to the BBQ...maybe I'll start something new...or maybe I'll just stop (again, with the "waste of time" thing)...we'll see. I'll link here wherever I end up..

I had fun, but summer's really really over now...I've burned my white shoes and belts in a ritual sacrifice to my aforementioned Ocean God (he likes it when the smoke reaches his heavenly home...) and, well...nothing. I guess I'm going home.