Specious Lesbo and the Seahorse She Rode In On...

I just sat down out on the front porch to enjoy my morning fruit shake (this is the ONLY healthy activity that I currently partake in...besides walking a lot, but that's because I don't have a car) and picked up the copy of TVTimes sitting on the table...

Why? I don't know...I don't really watch TV. I'm not a noticeably anti-TV person, but I'm just not that into it...never have been and, I'll assume, never will be...I guess I just get this nagging feeling that I should be doing something else when I'm watching TV...but, I can walk or drive around for hours just listening to music? Believe me, I don't even get myself most of the time...

ANYWAY.

I was mindlessly flipping through the pages and started reading the movie synopses...again, why? I have no plans to watch these movies, but I was eating breakfast and anything in front is game for being read...

So, I just have to share some of these:

Snakehead Terror (2004) - A small-town Maryland sheriff tries to kill mutated fish.

3 Ninjas (1992) - Children use their martial-arts training against the mob.

Starman (1984) - U.S. agents pursue a space alien and a widow cross-country.

Turner and Hooch (1989) - a fastidious policeman is teamed with a slobbering canine. *Um...pretty much..there really is no need to use any more words to describe this movie.

Cat Woman - A shy artist acquires feline strength and agility.
*Hey! When did they make a movie about my life?

Ok..ok. I have to stop here...and believe me, I COULD keep going...

From now on, I'm going to condense the plot to everything into one sentence containing only the pertinent words.

Let's practice.

1. Questioner: So, have you heard about World War II?

Me: Yes. World War II: German dictator brings wrath to 1940s Europe.

2. Questioner: Well, you must know about the Bible then...

Me: Of course. The Bible: Ancient book prompts political and moral action for rest of eternity.

3. Questioner: Obviously, you're brilliant. Tell me then...what's the gist of "life"?...

Me: Oh. That's an easy one. Life: Human beings awkwardly toil for an unspecific amount of time until one day it stops.

I think I've found a new career: Vast Generalizer...I'll start right away...