Specious Lesbo and the Seahorse She Rode In On...

So, here I am. On the east coast...and it's cold here. I'm talking 60 degrees in the daytime! I'm from Texas, people. It's July. That's fucking cold...and it won't stop raining. Blah.

I've been here for just about five days now and it feels more like 72 days. I'm not sure why...I'm not having a bad time, it's just that so much newness has been jammed into my brain in a short amount of time.

And I'm not use to newness.

Take yesterday for example. Yesterday, I secured a job at the local "Chowder House" as a line cook. I sat with my boss-to-be at a back table and confidently bullshitted my way into some sort of employment.

Bullshit? Yeah...pretty much. I've never really worked in a restaurant's full-service kitchen...and I don't have any real experience with expediting, fry/line cooking, and full on prep work...But, I know what they are...does that count for something? All I know is that, when needed, I can work fast...and I have a feeling that is going to come in handy, because I have yet to see less than 20 cars at this restaurant at any point in time.

So basically, I start work Saturday afternoon and I'm going to get my ass kicked. I'm preparing myself to take any amount of verbal assault that can be thrown my way..."Look bitch! We need chowda NOW...chowda! Did you hear me? CHOWDA NOW!"

Bring it on.

And there are a number of other new/old things that I'm getting used to...

1. Going by my real name. My full name is STUPID long and I haven't actually been regularly referred to by my REAL first name in...oh I don't know, 10 or more years? Sure, my parents call me by it, but I'm never around them for more than a day or two...it's just weird. But, I guess I'll just get used to it...I mean, it is my name.

2. Eating 3 full meals a day. It's a strange new feeling to be constantly full, and to tell you the truth, I don't really like it. Not that I'm complaining or anything...freeloading isn't exactly the hardest task in the entire world...

3. No cigarettes. For how long, you ask? Exactly one week today...and there hasn't been an hour that's gone by that I haven't thought about sucking on those life-affirming death sticks.

4. And...if I could only BEGIN to describe the gossip that comes out everyone's mouth here...it's really starting to make me self-conscious. I mean, if they're talking about every other person that they know this way, I highly doubt that I'm exempt from the gossip. I've already heard stories about my family would be suitable themes for British comedies...as my aunt says, "Well, you know...fruitcakes run in this family like diarrhea." and my new favorite, "They're about as different as cheese and chalk!" I'll do my best to remember them from day to day.

Overall, it's been kinda nice. I've had some time to think about stuff that I normally procrastinate even THINKING about...usually due to hangovers or just general melancholy or the fact that all my brain power is devoted to thinking about things I can't control or my cats need to be pet...you know how it goes.

So, hopefully I can get something done in the next few months...something that may even be worthwhile and maybe even give my life a kick in the ass. We'll see.

Oh...I've also become obsessed in thinking about the design of this stupid blog...so you may see it morph slowly over time...