Specious Lesbo and the Seahorse She Rode In On...

So, how's everyone been? Good...good...I've been doing ok myself, thanks for asking! In general, not much has been going on here.

I wake up. I water the flowers...which takes a tedious 30 minutes...I never should have told my aunt that I enjoyed this task...that's what I get for lying. The phone rings once at about 8:30 am...and then again at about 10:45 am...and then again around 12:30 pm...at which time I finally decide that I'll answer it. Then my aunt asks me if I remembered to water the flowers...I say "Yes."...then she tells me a story about how much the flowers enjoy getting water early in the morning. Gee how they love that! Don't you agree? Flowers love that early early morning watering....

I wonder what she's trying to tell me? Hmmm...who knows.

I've already explained to her that I'm usually awake earlier in the morning, it's just that I don't like to answer the phone...or I have my headset on as soon as I leave my bed...so I don't hear the phone.

The rest of my days have been spent out on the front porch with my computer. Then, around 4 o'clock, I go to work.

Work. Four days ago, I thought I could confidently claim that I knew what I was doing. After four shifts, I got a massive (massive in the restaurant world, that is) raise and I felt like I could probably handle things without too many problems. But, when I worked yesterday, I lost all that confidence...nothing has been sent back yet, but I'm also pretty sure I'm not bringing in the repeat customers...I also felt that I could politely listen to my co-workers comments without questioning them about their childhood tendencies of eating lead paint chips...

This brings me to....my two favorite work quotes in the past week.

1. Dishwasher boy: "I don't know how you do that shit."

Me: "What shit?"

DB: "Stand in front of that stove...with all those flames and shit"

Me: "I don't know. I guess it's not that bad."

DB: "Yeah. I used to cook, but all they had for me here was dishes. I don't like the fire anyway. I think it's because when I was 16, I poured a bunch of butane down my throat and lit it on fire. It was pretty cool, but it left my throat pretty nasty."

Me (after a slight pause and a blank look): "Yeah. That doesn't sound like such a good thing...maybe you should stay away from fire."

I'm pretty sure that I've said similar things in my past...and hopefully nobody wrote them down.

2. Apparently, we're all culinary experts at this place...

Ozzy: Ok. When you serve the blackened swordfish, you put some chutney and some of this shit on the plate...(reaching into a bucket of spring mix)...Ugh...this shit is nasty.

Me: Ok. What's nasty? The spring mix? (I figured he was referring to the chutney...that stuff really IS nasty....)

Ozzy: Yeah. Have you ever had this stuff? You know it's made with weeds, right?

Me: No...I didn't know that. What part of it is weeds?

Ozzy: This shit...it's made with those plants you pull out of your garden. You know...the ones with the fuzzy tops and yellow flowers?

Me: Dandelions?

Ozzy: Yeah! That's it! See this leaf here? That's dandelion...it's so gross.

Me: Hmmm...really? I always thought that was arugula. But, maybe...I guess it could be dandelions...

I don't expect everyone to know the ingredients to spring mix...fuck, I don't even really know the greens used in spring mix...but, really....dandelions? Is it garnished with those mushrooms that I find growing under my toilet?

Now I'm really tempted to try dandelion leaves just to see if they have a taste similar to arugula...I bet you could make a killing just by adulterating spring mix bags with garden weeds...think of the mad profits that could be made in the underground produce supply market!

SO...that's pretty much how things have been going. I did make a new friend though...and on Tuesday and Wednesday, we took an adventure up the Cape...but, I think that deserves it's own entry...